Burn it all to the ground. I’ll bring the marshmallows.

I have some post campaign thoughts.

I fucking loathe Donald trump. But I’m starting to accept that this is something that probably had to happen. We’ve had years and years of candidates just putting new additions on the same ugly-ass, drafty house. It just keeps getting bigger, and uglier, and more expensive.

Sometimes, shit can’t be fixed because it’s too broken. Maybe sometimes you need a Fool to come along and burn everything down so you can actually make something new and better.

First, fucking Hillary. Besides the hubris of these people more or less anointing her Queen, and even if Hillary Clinton wasn’t Hillary Clinton, what was she even running on? All that stood out to me was “But it’s my turn” and “Trump has a loud mouth and he’s rude!” Some stupid rude comment about pussy grabbing. Whoopee. Know what? I get groped by the government every time I go to the airport. Some jerk in gloves feels me up and puts their hands on my crotch and in my bra. (oh and guess how fun it is to wear a menstrual cup in a body scanner?) I don’t have any option to say no. So between hypothetical and very real pussy-grabbing, hmmm.

Donald was also disrespectful to war hero and honorary Democrat John McCain, unlike the Democrats, who merely implied for ten years he was a traitor who sold his fellows to the Viet Cong.

I’m also supposed to be mortally offended “Russians” “interfered” with the election by dumping “private emails” in public. I’m no fan of Wikileaks and I think Assange is an arrogant douche. But how is it I’m supposed to feel upset that the privacy of the conniving assholes who openly collect & read my private email (to prevent terrorism, don’tcha know) got breached? Fuck off with that shit. This is aside from the fact that this redbaiting manipulative bullshit started pre-election and is is right out of Goebbel’s bestselling book “How to win friends and influence idiots to vote for war.”

Trump is certainly a rich silver spoon asshole who has never known a day of want or hunger in his life. But I’m hardly going to argue whether one born rich has less empathy than one who merely connived her way into that elite.

Is Trump a bigot? Probably, in that mostly-benign way most of our Boomer uncles are at the dinner table. Is he a fascist incarnation of Hitlerstalin? Pfft. He started his campaign to the left of Hillary on immigration policy (he got a third of the immigrant vote, too) and he’s to the left of most other Republicans on LGBT issues. He’s to the left of most democrats on trans issues. The sudden notion he’s gonna start piling blacks and gays and trans people on trains to the death camps makes Chicken Little and Alex Jones look like rational creatures.

Are some people acting out now that he’s been elected? Sure they are. People on both sides are acting like children. The key difference is, the left has had free reign to speak their minds. That the outgroup suddenly feels freed of PC tyranny should be a lesson that thought policing and shaming doesn’t drive the outgroup away- it just drives them underground. Personally I don’t care if a few rednecks are rude to some delicate snowflakes. After a decade of watching you people treat whiteness as original sin and openly call for their extinction, I’m not feeling super sympathetic. In any case, if all your predictions are accurate, you would be white saviors will have ample opportunities to indulge yourselves.

As for me, a middle class taxpayer with teenage kids, what was a Clinton presidency going to accomplish for me? Well, I was clearly going to be on the hook for more taxes. Someone’s got to pay for the tuition relief for other people’s kids, why not me? Sure, my health premiums will continue to go up while I avoid doctor visits due to insane deductibles but that’s so poor folks can also have high deductibles and fines, right? Oh, and a little bit for green energy, so we can award friends of the Clintons juicy contracts…but not so much that we’ll make Clinton’s Saudi oil baron friends unhappy. (They do, after all, need that extra cash to spread Wahabism around so they can spend some of my money going to war with pipeline countries, too.)

I’m of that last living generation who grew up when families could buy homes on a single salary, get a decent-paying job with a HS education, and not go into debt before age 25. I don’t know if that’s ever coming back,* but it’s sure not going to come back under any quasi-socialist dynastic regime. Instead, we’ll get just enough additions to the welfare state for them to claim they’ve made “progress,” a few more “lets make everyone equal” laws that feel more like thought control, and lots more bloody wars pushed by DC wonks who think saying “what we need is boots on the ground!” on CNN is a real job.*

Yay.

So…fuck it. Burn it all to the ground. I’ll bring the marshmallows.

*I’ve been informed manufacturing is never ever for sure never coming back, and our factory jobs are now gonna be service jobs. Like those jobs answering phones at Comcast that have also been outsourced.

**Plus, lots of super useful things like more and better bureaucracy, government oversight of mental health issues (gotta know if it’s safe to let me exercise my rights under the constitution!), sin taxes (soda’s bad for you and if I have to pay for your health insurance, I get a say! Also quit smoking and wear your fucking seatbelt and lose some weight, fatass.)

Also, I need more licenses for stuff. I’d like to spend a few more days of the year in windowless Brutalist architecture signing forms and being yelled at by fat ladies. I have to have something to do while my kids are in government propaganda internment cam-er, school. Also I hear there is good money in those jobs, and benefits!

Also quotas. it’s important for some reason that we have the right ratio of person colors and genders in each job and industry. Somehow this is even more important than making decent jobs. I think it’s also why my mail is always delivered to my neighbors house, too.